Hoosiers and Losers

Boo... what a weird 24 hours :(

So, first night back in town, I hit up the one corporate restaurant: The Bees. Yummy Yummy. Thanks for the dinner David! You are super sweet for watching the puppies and the house! XOXO

Afterward, Dave and I watched my new fav comedian Dane Cook. HE'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!! He's just like me: We both use our hands and our loud ass voices to tell very normal stories. Actually Dane uses his entire body, for every sentence. It's awesome. Check him out at DaneCook.com or MySpace.com/DaneCook.

SOOOOOO... onto the Hoosiers (an Illinois term for redneck idiots) and Losers!

After Dave time, Amber and I went to Starbucks. We were enjoying a nice game of catching up and drinking lattes outside, when this drugged, drunken beeyotch stumbles out the door. She's like, "Hey. Hey you girls. I bought this coffee from the corporate assholes, and they still won't let me use their phone! Those people scare me! So did the ones over at Shop N Save... hm... Well anyway, Can I use one of your cellular phones?

NOW... for the people that truly know me, I'm very down to earth. But I also have my valley girl moments. I give Amber the "Don't fucking think so!" look...

She asks again, "So what? Can I use your phones?"

"Why don't you go back inside to use their phone?" I say...

Keeping a story short... she uses mine (I caved!!) and SNEEZED INTO THE FUCKING PHONE THREE TIMES IN A ROW! SHE KEPT TALKING AS IF GERMS WERE NOT AN ISSUE! Fucking Gross. I washed that bitch with soap and water--the phone that is. Ew. Fucking Ew.

So my fave baristas saw this hoosier spitting at another customers, and were like, "Yeah, GCPD? So her friends plate number is 123 A..." before I even had to ask!! I love them! Luckily there was a cop near that shopping center and they talked to her. SOOOO worth the $3. Coffee and entertainment.

So, today I FINALLY woke all the way up by 1. (11am LA time... we'll say it was jet lag!) I decided today would be the day to get all financial/paperwork done. Plus I had to do some freelance work online. So right off the bat, the internet's not working. OF COURSE. So I mess with Charter Communications. Fucking idiot on the phone. All he had to figure out was that the LAST idiot wrote my number in the computer wrong when Dave and I separated the account. So we figured it out today ourselves. Drove alllll over the place, to find old modem parts. boo.

Then, I had to call Verizon Wireless. They may be worse than Charter. My voicemail from this morning scared me so much! It was like, "We need to make sure your address is fine." WHA????? So I called and it was simply that I never changed my address with them after I moved here. Hmmm.... I create more drama for myself.

So... then onto my main problem: Finaces. I wrote down every bill I have. TOTAL: $2,400. Total in bank account: $150. Hmmm... What do I do? Well, atleast I have my __________? Health? Boo.

And finally, to round out my JOYOUS DAY: I FUCKING HATE THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES! Double booey boo to you! I called today to inquire on my PROPERLY done claim, from last week. It's direct deposited, so it should be here I say. They respond with, "It may take three weeks." WHAAAAAA ???????? What about people that have families? This is all bullshit. These bitches have fucked me sideways like three times. I hate them. I'm having a Denise benefit concert. Any one interested? (Any band wanna play??) haha.

Tonight was supposed to do the the horse track... but you can't bet and drink for free. So,... here I am. Being good. Staying at home :) I may go out later if I can convince Dave to buy me drinks... haha.

Much love,
D

p.s. I know I reached my F bomb quota for the week. It was just necessary today... alot.