I apologize for the "London Bridge" blog from last night. I was kind of drunk and felt it necessary to write a blog at 3:00 am. That's me, priorities, priorities!
So, to retract the retraction: the Lohan 'gina was real. Her puss is not a red monster but worse, a tiny pair of male cojones. Ms. Linds also got her Hermes Berkin bag stolen today at the airport with like a million dollars worth of jewels and "asthma" medications. Who the hell does she think she is, Elizabeth Taylor? Pictures of her crying in the streets are all over the media. I say, get over it kid. Sell Dina. She's worth at least fifty bucks to a desperate computer programmer looking for a white trash wife. It's a mere suggestion.
So, today is Shannons awesome pre-birthday celebration. We may have a chance to go to Key Club tonight, but are starting the party at FUBAR for some entertainment per Denise, our Karaoke Queen. I picked up a little something for her today but more importantly, made her a hilarious five page card. I think I may have found my calling. Slightly offensive personalized Birthday Cards!!! WOOT WOOT!
I actually got a lot done today! I was on time for work AGAIN. (Thank the Lord for small miracles). After 30 minutes of actual work, I sat on my ass and wrote a letter to my dad about my new life here in Wonderland. I don't feel like actually talking to him on the phone and this way it's easier to communicate what I'm trying to get across. I mean, I DO miss getting yelled at and spit on at the same time. Also, I miss repeating myself six times before he understands an ounce of what I'm talking about. This way, he can just re-read it as many times as he sees fit. Plus, I owe him some letters from back in the Bremen days (any of you remember that 46 day drunk fest?). I got to edit the entire "Coming Out" piece and get a few more pages down on that. Plus, I got paid almost 7 dollars an hour and made more than 20 bucks in tips! WOOT! Woot! Woot!
The bussers do all the work at 3rd. I just chat to people all day and make a few drinks. Granted, I tip them out quite a bit. But, its sooo worth it. I had an interview at "Marmalade" in the Grove. Have another interview with them next week. They need someone to re-image their Host staff and implement a training program for new host/ess. I think I could be good at this. Plus, its a jive place. I have yet another interview on Saturday at Crossroads on Melrose. It's a place you bring your clothes and they give you credit or cash. Imagine the first run shit though! Awesome, right.
PS...what is up with my "Sometimes" quote at the end of the blog? I don't quite know where I was going with it, but before I went off into oblivion I was writing about Vagina. I hope I don't have some wired Vagina thing. Gross. No offense to those readers with Vaginas. I respect that I came out of one, I just think they are kinda weird. OK...No more puss talk for at least a week.
Speaking of, Shannons friend Dan thought I was straight. And that Denise and I were together. BWWWHAHHAHA! I do say , DUDE a lot around the hetero males. It's a defense mechanism, I suppose. What are ya gonna do? Sig Ep for life bitches!
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