Hi all! This post shall be all about kinky freaky sex. Enjoy, and please let me know if I'm the only one!So... Who has normal sex?
Let's start by defining normal. Most people in monogamous relationships think that normal sex is 15-20 minutes (sometimes even including foreplay!) a few times a week. That is the conclusion we surmise as marriage, long term relationships, etc.... I guess that's not sad. Most would be happy to get that!
BUT... let us delve deeper. What about positions?? NORMAL: missionary (good for the boy), girl on top (good for the Denise), doggy style (pound pound pound...) and BLAH BLAH BLAH. These are all COOKIE CUTTER.
And you know, I was once gifted a very interesting book: Position of the Day: Sex Everyday in Every Way (Available at Kitson boutique for you LA kids, and at fine book stores everywhere. Thanks Amanda!) Well, this book is hot, BUT I CAN'T FUCKING STRETCH LIKE THAT. owwy.
Then there was the lime fucking green vibe that Creagan got me. THANKS. :) I personally don't get into that, but it is broken nonetheless. As is the Lady bug back massager that my mom gave me for Christmas one year. lol.
So you see... these are the tools that I believe myself and the rest of the "normal" crowd would use to be "kin-kayyyyy!"
Aside from new toys, I've had the "let's switch it up" boys before. The first guy to get me off through sex, who was a complete jack ass but tought me a new trick nonetheless, and then there was the guy who I will refer to as "Houdini"--he was so smooth while switching through his three positions, you can tell that's ALL he used with his ex... same way, every time. New to me though--for the first two times. NEW TRICKS PLEASE.
But still, over the few years and few people I've enjoyed the act with, normal was still normal! I'm still fun but NORMAL Denise! Nope, that cannottt go there, NOPE, THAT WON'T FIT THERE! WHATTT are you doing to THAT? hellz no.
Well, sometimes you meet people who do not try to get you to do new things... they just emmit this energy that's like, "Hey! this is FUN and EASY!"
And so folks, enter Denise the Freak. O M G.
I've delved into new territory here folks. Wowza. You know, without giving out too many MORE details about little ole me... I just want to say that TALKING, NIBBLING, SMACKING, ETC... can make all the difference. Geez!
And right when you thought you knew yourself... BOOM! I'm ready to go spend a grand at Dr. John's.
I heart the MPT.
Much love,
D
