Jesus Wants to Help Max Out Your Amex!

Today I realized that I may be spending too much time focusing on entertainment and celebrities. If I'm not watching a movie or TV, I'm reading or writing about them. If I'm not doing that, I'm thinking about it. Or clothes. Or booze. Or working-out and not eating bad food like the Pizza Pocket I just consumed...

IM FINALLY BECOMING ONE WITH THE WEST HOLLYWOOD/LA ATTITUDE!

Next step: Get a new gym membership, an eating disorder, and an addiction to a stimulant drug.

Final step: PERFECTION! (Just like Nicole Ritchie!!!)

Stay tuned for the transformation....

Last night was the long awaited second to last episode of Project Runway. I totally had a feeling that all four of the designers were going to stay for Fashion Week. I thought that maybe I had predicted incorrectly about halfway through the show, but at the end I let out a squeal of glee when Heidi said both Micheal and Jeffery were "IN".

This twist came with mixed reactions for me. I am excited to see ALL the collections because ALL the designers have such different styles. But, seriously, the show has always been 3 finalists. So, it just seemed like an easy way out. Clay and Rueben BOTH couldn't win Americnan Idol. But look who's making news now, years later. Gayken thats who. It just goes to show that even if one didn't get to advance, they still would've had a chance to "make it". I was surprised to see Uli finally do something different. I did like her dress. I actually liked Jeffrey's too! I guess I could see where the judges were coming from with the milkmaid comment though. Micheal totally dropped the ball. I am most excited to see if Laura can take the judges' advice and change up her designs. The thing that sucks about this show is that constant demand for the designers to do something different. When I think of well known designers, it's clear that each of them have a definate voice and style to their garments. I suppose that's a perk that comes with long-term commercial success. I really like Laura the best out of the four. I hated Jeffrey and his neck tats until last night when he got the little video on his phone of his kid. It kind of humanized the jackass and let him show some emotion. As long as he doesn't stick zippers on any more crotches, everything should be just fine!

Click the designer's name to see the collection each presented at the 2007 New York Fashion Week. I just couldn't wait 3 weeks to see their stuff. Do you have self-control?
Laura
Jeffrey
Uli
Micheal

The other show I had to see was "America's Next Top Model". Episode Two aired last night and I have to say, this season is so much better than the last! Even though the girls are all ungrateful BITCHES, at least they are interesting. I hate Monique so very much that I want to slap her ugly face on a hot griddle and let the other girls fight about who gets the biggest piece. I love the twins! Gingers usually scare me but these girls are sassy and look so hot in every picture!



Seriously, like Jay said, the girls are blank canvas. If Tyra wants to shave your head, put on a happy face and shut the hell up.

Back in the real world, I read an article today in "The LA Times" about a new trend in the south. An inventive pastor, Marty Baker, is marketing these(for a profit) on site ATMs as "Giving Kiosks". I'm sure Jesus is happy that now we can earn frequent flyer miles by giving to the church! Who carries cash anymore anyway? The flames that are constantly flickering around down here make it tough to carry anything paper on your person anyway! Read all about the easiest way to buy your way into the pearly gates HERE!

Well, I'm going to continue watching Ugly Betty on ABC. It sures does remind me of a certain book/film with the words Devil and Prada. Oh well, at least I get to see my boyfriend after finishing watching the chick from The Traveling Pants look ackward and wear terrible clothes. When I say boyfriend I mean George on Grey's Anatomy. Please, I know I'm sad so don't judge.
XO

Miss Bliss Would Be So Proud!

It started out as a normal "Hump Day". I went to work. I turned on KISS FM (LA's hottest hit music!) and listened to Ryan Seacrest as I brewed coffee and read some mind-numbing articles about Skid Row. Then, the nightmare began. It came gently at first, in the form of a teaser by Seacrest himself around 9:45 am. By 10:00, the world as we knew it changed....for the worse.

3 Words will sum up this fateful day: Screech. Sex. & Tape. The NY Daily News reported today that a 40-minute "sex-tape" will star Dustin Diamond, AKA Screech Powers and 2 un-named females. The trio are said to engage in a "Dirty Sanchez" scene that will be sure to make waves with The Christian Coalition. David Hans Schmidt who is apparenlty well versed in the world of celebrity "skin tapes" confirmed that he will be handling the mass distribution of the video. Scre...Er..Dustin is trying to distance himself from his "Saved by the Bell" character with this new endeavor and hopes to be able to pay his cell phone bill with the expected dozens of dollars in royalties.
CLICK FOR A SNEAK PEEK OF HELL FREEZING OVER!

Here's Wikipedia's definition of what a "Dirty Sanchez" exactly is...

"Dirty Sanchez is a noun phrase describing the result of one partner having a "moustache" made primarily of fecal matter, applied by the finger or penis of the other sexual partner.
It is performed by sticking one's finger (or other object) in one partner's rectum and then swiping a line of feces under the nose, making a "moustache." While there is nothing inherently latin or Hispanic about the gesture or resulting moustache, it carries the name of "Sanchez," which is likely the result of the following take on its origin.
Named after a web comics fictional character of the early 90's called 'The Dirty Sanchez Adventures', the story of a Mexican superhero in Texas, who is also an illegal immigrant. In the comic the main character, Dirty Sanchez, seduces white married women in order to have anal intercourse with them and sometimes with their husbands. His personal signature being the "moustache" he leaves on the faces of his sexual partners after they perform oral sex on him. The comic website was hosted for a short period of time by Geocities.
The Dirty Sanchez is a popular turn of phrase, appearing in a variety of pop culture references including the name of a bar in the movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. The bar's mascot was an apparently hispanic woman with a moustache. Another popular reference is in The Aristocrats joke. Former Saved by the Bell star Dustin Diamond is rumored to demonstrate a Dirty Sanchez in his sex tape, titled "Saved by the Smell."

Nuff Said.

In other "Saved by the Bell" news, Mario Lopez is biting his hot little fingernails tonight as the country decides his fate on "Dancing with the Stars". Mario told the gossiplicous EXTRA:

"I feel like I'm being sent to the principle's office all the time," Mario admitted. "Carrie Ann(one of the judges) gave me a look like I killed her dog, and I felt bad."

Lopez is the runaway favorite this year but is in hotwater for pushing the rules laid down this season. Last night, he and his partner, Karina Smirnoff, were scolded for, as Mario put it on Seacrest this morning in a telephone interview, "staying apart for 14 seconds". Apparently, the alloted time apart for their tango was 1o seconds. He sounded genuinly distraught about it. I'm genuinly sorry he's not giving someone a dirty sanchez in a new sex video instead of Screech. It would be even hotter if he wore the singlet from SBTB. Maybe Zach would be there too. For now, we will have to settle for this homoerotic venture:





Usually, I am not a big follower of the news that Larry King gererates. I do watch his program once in a while but I've never quite became hooked. Last night, the big L talked with Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer and newly revealed proud baby daddy! During the interview the babies' name, Dannie Lynn Hope (Dannie for her late son Daniel, Lynn as a ku to Anna's real name: Vicky Lynn Hogan or "Mama Lynn" as Daniel referred to his mother) was unveiled. Stern also seemed adament at disspelling rumors the media has been running wild with regarding Daniel's sudden death in Anna's hospital room. Meanwhile, today, reports were released that verified that Daniel's death was due to a drug overdose.

"Pathologist Cyril Wecht has revealed to People magazine that Daniel died of a lethal combination of methadone, Zoloft and Lexapro." (www.perezhilton.com)



Of course, there is dispute over who can really claim Dannie as his own. Anna's ex, photographer Larry Birkhead told "Entertainment Tonight" a while ago he was the father of the child. In response to Stern's announcement of "King", Birkhead posted this statement on his website:

"I will just say the situation has gotten out of hand. The Larry King interview is laughable. In case there is any confusion, I am not laughing at myself. I firmly believe the truth will come out soon and people will understand where I am coming from. I maintain that I am THE PROUD FATHER, and look forward to a paternity test. I would like to say that I too am grieving the loss of Daniel Smith. He was a great kid, and I will miss him. I think this whole thing is unfortunate and look forward to a positive resolution."

OH SNAP! I will be sure to keep tracking this story. I thought Stern sounded, well, unbeliavable in the interview last night. Only time will tell.

Stay tuned to "Larry King Live" tonight to see him drill Clay Aiken. I'm sure the "gay" question will be brought up yet again and undoubltly "Gayken" will declare in a high-pitched southern drawl that "It just ain't nobody's business." What the hell is the big deal Clay? Face it, the public gets to see Lohan's vagina on a weekly basis then we get to know if it's true that you're a big homo. Grrrrr....

More news at the "Hollywood HighSchool" A-list stumble fuck! Reported by "Page Six", Lindsay Lohan lured Paris Hiton's Ex-Fling, Starvos Niarchos, who recenlty inheired $275 million, into an all-out soap opera for the paparrazzi after she was brutally "dumped" by Harry Morton. Temptation came easy for Linds, a mere whisper of "making Paris (Hilton) jealous and make you look like a stud" sent the Greek Shipping Heir tounge deep with the starlet at a late-night LA hotspot. News spread fast but details are all over the board. Apparently, it was all a plublicity stunt. Apparently, she and Harry are just "taking a breather". Apperently, Lindsay isn't so sick of "Rumors" starting anymore.

Tonight's the night I'm gonna make it Happen....

Hey, bitches! So, it's only 2 pm on Monday and I have managed to get a shitload of stuff done today! I woke up at 9:00 to go get some writing done at the Coffee Bean with Shannon, who had studying to do. I had only been to the the Sunset location once before and didn't have any celeb encoutners that time. A different story today!

Our second favorite blogger, Perez Hilton was at "the office" in the corner, pounding away on his Ibook. Enter a familiar looking blonde that I couldn't quite place. She grabs the table next to ours. Perez gets lonely in his corner and decides to join the blonde next to us. He glances over a couple times at us but proceeds to talk ever so loudly about his blog and how great he's doing with it right now. Props brother! He also loudly mentions all the magazines he and his blog will be appearing in this month and goes on to chat to the unknown blonde about the possibility of selling his blog. (Not unless they offered him a shit load of money, he says). I was tempted to chime in a couple times, but Shannon was giving me the evil eye, so I contained myself.

(At Right is a little screenshot I got of the blogger's profile at Adam4Adam.com, a gay dating site courtsey of :http://www.gawker.com/news/perez%20hilton/ ....they aren't quite the fans of his that we are....)

A few minutes later, after my eyes keep darting from the laptop to my surroundings in hopes of spying one of my top 3 (Britney, Nicole or Paris), a familiar voice rings out across the Bean. Who is it? None other than Donald Faison, aka Murray Duvall from Clueless! Holler. Here's a list of Faison's other acting creds:
Something New (29-Jan-2006) King's Ransom (22-Apr-2005) Good Boy! (10-Oct-2003) [VOICE] Uptown Girls (15-Aug-2003) Big Fat Liar (2-Feb-2002) Double Whammy (20-Jan-2001) Remember the Titans (23-Sep-2000) Trippin' (12-May-1999) Supreme Sanction (9-Apr-1999) Can't Hardly Wait (12-Jun-1998) Butter (1998) Waiting to Exhale (22-Dec-1995) Clueless (19-Jul-1995) New Jersey Drive (24-Mar-1995) Sugar Hill (25-Feb-1994) Juice (17-Jan-1992)

Of course, he is also well known as Dr. Christopher Turk on "Scrubs". He chatted up the blonde and headed out. Upon arrival, he sent Perez scurrying back to his corner. Hmmm...Interesting, no?

Well, I must say, I thought it was cool to see him in person. I'm a big fan of "Clueless" and can give you about a dozen one-liners from the movie on que. It made my day!

Two large iced coffees later ( I SWEAR that the Bean's coffees have more caffeine than a gram of meth) I took it upon myself to clean the apartment. Denise and I would call this "Crackhead" cleaning, because I got on my hands and knees and scrubbed the kitchen floor with bleach and "Awesome" cleaner from the 99 cent store. Needless to say, I am still buzzing and now have a headache from the fumes, but the floor is clean as hell.

I'm knee deep in the "homeless" article and I'm trying to stay focused, I plan on working on it later today. I also applied to write for a new blog that focuses on LA. It's up and coming, but would be cool to add to portfolio.

Of course, while I was cleaning, I had to have some music in the background! Leave it to www.Youtube.com to keep me up to my ear lobes in dumb shit to entertain you with. The first piece I have for you is a vintage classic, reworked with by someone who I would really like to meet. I thought I was the only one who went around quoting this but, apperently not. Take a look:


Also, in preparation for Kirsten Dunst's new role as Marie Antoinette (can't wait), here's a clip from a long forgotten movie she did called "Get Over It", co-starring Cisqo of "Thong Song" fame! I love this song and think she has a lovely voice! Although, we all know I have a thing for the high-picked "mermaid" like vocals!


I do hope everyone got to see "Grey's Anatomy" on Thursday. It is seriously one of the best shows on television right now. I have always been a fan, but at the end of last season I really fell in love. I also picked up The Fray's new album featuring "How to Save a Life" from the show. I highly recommend! To the left here is T.R. Knight or Dr. George O'Malley. I love him. That bitch who's in love with him on the show better back off. I will work on a better pic! Don't you love my custom artwork??

Some slutty conversation...

Hi all... This blog is going to be graphic, but there is a good NEW message behind it. Men are sluts. And girls are hos. Beware for both. p.s. I got this pic by searching sluts on Google. HA!

So, lets get to the point. This blog is to discuss a currently un-published relationship theory. The theory was told to me by a player. A married player. A friend of a friend of a friend. I have never forgotten the infinite wisdom of this man though:

"You see Denise. Don't feel bad about your (short, ridiculous, and ancient) relationship. It all boils down to one thing--New pussy."

I was like, WHAT?? What the hell is that all about? And for now on I'm calling it P*.....

"Well Denise, guys always act wonderful when the P* is new. They do whatever they can to feed their hunger for the HUNT, not necessarily the sex. If and when things are spicy enough to lead to sex, the sex quickly and eventually gets old, hence the other term, OLD P*."

So there we have it. This theory is very similar to the OLD v. NEW COW theory from the movie Someone Like You (2001) :

"This theory is about male/bovine behavior: once a bull mates with a cow, the bull, having already serviced the cow, doesn't want to mate with the old cow again, the bull wants a new cow. The lead female character from the movie applies this to men: once they've had a relationship/sex with a woman, that woman becomes the old cow and therefore pass, and the man then begins looking for the new cow. "

Now, this blog is not to scare women wanting to know why their relationships might be dwindling. Most people are not that sexually driven, or willing to make the kill after a short hunt, and then decide to abandon the trophy. HOWEVER, this is a blunt (and funny) explanation for the thought process of many.

MOST RELATIONSHIPS are meant to be short. A TRYOUT. AN INTERVIEW, and maybe a second and third. But like we all know, most relationships don't work out, and most people don't land a job just because they had a good second interview (myself the case in point!)

I would like to see more acceptance for the unfortunate tryouts, the second interviews where you LEARN FROM IT. This is the key. We all need to learn from the experiences, and move on. Take what you learn and apply it to your next endeavor.

The end result from the "Road of Learning" we'll call it, is a relationship where there is no game to win. No kill after the hunt. No need to move on. Until this level of relationship is reached--TAKE THINGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE!

Human communication has came a long way over the millennia so we can more efficiently understand our peers and partners. We need to utilize opportunity for communication when the moment strikes. THIS is the key to a lasting relationship. And if this communication is true to your feelings and convictions, and the relationship is still rocky, then you know to leave the trophy, and move on cow. Learn and move on.

Moo,
D

Rated NC-17 for Graphic Scenes of Bull Shit

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. So, this morning I crawled out of bed at 7am to head to church. I slid into my Sunday's best and made my way to the first Baptist Church in Santa Monica to get my God on.

PSYCHE!

Actually, I rolled out of bed and hopped on the bus to take my wrinkled clothes wearing ass to work. No real news there. Work Sucks.

Anyway, it's been a very chill weekend, sans Friday evening when Shannon and I decided to go out for a few cocktails. For some reason, we have decided that it's ok to start doing shots again. For whatever reason, the shots here are sort of giant. And strong. Tommy likey. So we had threw a few back at "Motherlode" a self-described "hole-in-the-wall" near Robertson and Abbey. I was unimpressed. The drinks were reasonable enough and strong. But, the crowd was boring and the sound did not bring it like I deserve when I pay 30 dollars for a round of drinks. I mean, strange euro rock has it's place, but just play some Madonna or Love Inc. and let me sing along. James somehow got himself a little flat tire right after our second drinks which engaged us in a little chug contest. Long story short, we thought the buzz wore off after waiting an hour for Triple A and headed to St. Nick's Pub to continue in the grand tradition of binge drinking. All too soon, shots were being poured down our throats and we were tanked. Good times. No Ben Savage this time though. Boo.

Besides the drinking, I saw a cool movie called, "This Film is not Yet Rated", which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2006. In the grand tradition of going to the movies alone because no one likes movies that I like, I partook in a nice matinee screening of the documentary. It was sufficiently entertaining and informative as it laid out details about the MPAA ratings system, which has been a subject of scrutiny in the film industry for years. The board has been accused of rating films unfairly, having biases with gay/lesbian films (aka "Boys Dont Cry"), Independent Films, and films with sexual content. In turn, the board has been known to let violence and gore slide with an easier rating. For example, a film that shows excessive violence but does not show any blood as a result of the violence would earn a "PG-13" or "R" rating, while a film that shows a female masturbation scene in which no private parts are shown but masturbation is implied, would receive an "NC-17" or "X" rating. This greatly impairs a film because anyone under 17 is not allowed to see the film in theatrical release, even with a parent. One of the best points of the film is that we should be more concerned with showing children a realistic point-of-view instead of one the implies you can shoot and stab people all day long without any real consequences. They make a slight reference to the irony involved with these types of violence in film compared to the violence that occured in school shootings like Columbine. I say touche. Makes sense to me. Anyway, the film goes on to hire a PI to "out" the ratings board memembers, who, until now, had been kept secret. Ironically, the film gets an "NC-17" rating for sexual content because it uses clips of past "17" rated films for examples throughout. Funny, right?

So, did anyone catch "Dateline" last night? "The Paris Hilton Tapes" aired last night with Keith Morrison doing a dramatic take on the events surrounding Joe Francis and his infamous robbery and assault with a ridiculous attempt at blackmail. I won't bore you with the details, if you want to read about it check out http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14899777/. The worst part of the whole show is the media screaming everywhere that Paris admitted she was "not that smart". I seriously can't get over the idea that every single thing she says and does is scrutinized! I mean, lets face it, if I were at the Hard Rock Hotel getting wasted for my sister's birthday, I would have a hard time remembering what exactly was said as well.

To continue, I have been having some wheels turning in my head as of late regarding the celebrities I speak of so much. Everyone always says that the group is like high school and I agree. But, I also think that this is why we are so obsessed with them. Its like that high school complex, trying to learn everything you can about the cool kids. Paris is like that hot senior girl and all of us are like the incoming freshman who just want to see her in the hallway. The "wanna-bes" of the Hollywood crowd are like those girls that never quite make it in with the A crowd, dress well enough but try way too hard. Plus, everyone talks shit about the "IT" girl behind her back but would shart their H & M capris is she asked them for a pencil. I'm rambling, I know. But, this would make such a good movie, right? To take the inner workings of "Fictional" A-listers ALA "Mean Girls". Do I smell screenplay??

Only in my blogs is Bill Clinton on top of Paris Hilton! Check out Billy dishing it out hardcore regarding Bin Laden and his efforts to track and kill him:
http://articles.news.aol.com/news/_a/bill-clinton-angrily-defends-bin-laden/20060923131109990001ncid=NWS00010000000001

And here's Paris' New Video...loves it! For real, everyone, get over that its a little kid in the video, obviously, he is in high school. Obviously all of us in highschool had fantasies about blondes. In, my case, the blonde thing wasn't really so important as the penis thing but, you get the point. In general,"Lighten the F Up!!!" Yes, I know, you can accuse me of worshiping false Idols all you want.
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Next time, I plan on filling you all in on Grey's Anatomy and The Fray. I fucking dig both. And you should too if you want to be super cool like me! (and you know you do)

THERES EXCITEMENT ELSEWHERE??

Hi all.. this post is dedicated to the FUN FUN FUN town, Granite City, Illinois. It's beautifully decorated with puffy clouds--of soot.

So, I have been looking for some excitement now that I'm back in Granite City. I was driving down Namioki Road (Granite's Melrose!) and I saw some little raggedy sign taped to a traffic light post with electrical tape:

" Wanna know the Granite City Gossip? Go to www.GraniteCityGossip.com "

I was like, WOW, something fun! So I go home and get online, THINKING the website would be ran by half-wits who try to make small town gossip-HELL even worse. BUT NO. It's hardly that. It's a small town, small effort for shy people to try to meet other shy people via discussion boards of GC news. NO GOSSIP. Boo. But there were ads for local businesses and the such. I saw one for "El Torero," a small Mexican restaurant. David and I went there today and it was wonderfully decorated, reasonably priced, and extremely Mexican: the servers are great, but not at all versed in English. FUN OPENING! The type of opening in GC. Nothing like LA :)

On a more exciting note, tonight I watched the Ultimate Fighting Championship 63 on pay-per-view. As Creagan says: "UFC is like a gay man's dream." But for that matter, the three girls at the party were like--WOWZA! Gotta love men wrestling and grunting!

Lately, I've also been very interested in watching networks like HGTV, TLC, and STYLE that have shows based in LA. It's cool, and sad at the same time, to see someone say they were driving down the Sunset strip. I sooo miss LA. But it's cool... I mean, I cruise the Madison and Maryville strips... SO HOT!

I will now include some pics for the Ogden gang to enjoy, as well as anyone that lovesss UFC :)

Much Love,
D

I hold in my hands 12 photos....one of you must return to the apartment, pack your things and GET THE FUCK OUT!

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Well, fuck it. Fuck it all the way home. I ended up with a giant Hickey on my neck from an unnamed Pal yesterday and had to miss an interview because of it. Who does this after 8th grade? Seriously. Pissed. I even told him to back off the neck. Gay Ass Bitch. A Hickey is actually broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It's sort of like a bruise, if you got hit with a baseball and the impact broke the blood vessels. But instead of being caused by a foul ball, it's caused by the other person's mouth. A stupid person's mouth.

So, I'm working on an article about Skid Row. For some reason, the homeless epidemic in LA really interests me. I am actually doing hard research for this one. It's utterly depressing, but I think it will round out a portfolio I can send to the Bev. Press. The worst that can happen is that they say NO. So, what the hell, cross your fingers for me!

Halloween is fast approaching and I am interested in having a kick ass costume this year. People in West Hollywood go all out, like crazy, so I am very excited to get back in the spirit. As some of you may know, my family and I are Hallows eve FREAKS. Well, we used to be, before the big D of '97. I'm bringing Scary Back.

Paris has out a new song/video on called "Jealousy". Click here to watch, but drink a cup of coffee before cause it is dullsville

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTJGWYk4Kyo

I have decided to start an I HATE JARED LETO CLUB. Why? Here are just a few reasons:

He used to be so cute. So good in Requiem. So, sane.

But now, hes scary. He bashes bloggers. (check out perezhilton.com) I just do not like what he's up to. I think the he and Tom Cruise and Suri are planning something. Watch the skies ya all.

Anyway. I did finally get a haircut! I am learning how to style my hair without the use of water. Its a tough road but I am trudging through. Like always, the stylist used some product and my head looked great. Alas, 25 dollars in product later, I can not seem to get the same effect. I find myself wanting to splash water on my hair every morning. Just a little water. PLEASE. GIVE IT TO ME!! So, I usually splash the H20 and ruin the style and have to rinse and re-dry and re-style. It's a tough life. Between hair, makeup and wardrobe life is getting to be endlessly tiresome. Speaking of, I thought I would be used to getting up at 6 am by now to get to work, but I'm not. I still snooze forever and am groggy all day. I hate the morning! I hate everything about it. I especially hate people like my fellow blogger whom are up and jogging at 7 am. It's not natural. Granted, Denise does that like, once a year. But, I really am thinking about carrying a roller skate with me to throw in front of joggers in the wee mornin' hours. Hilarity would ensue.

K. I've rambled sufficiently. Time to drink wine and read. And watch Grey's premiere!

P.S. I think Tyra got cooler this season of Top Model. I don't know. I heart her for some reason now. I used to want to pull out her weave, light it on fire and throw it on her during the show. All while laughing and jumping up and down with Naomi Campbell. She was funny last night! I swear ya all.

I FEEL GREAT!

Hi all!

So I've been up since 10pm last night, and that's because I slept from 3am til 10pm the night before.... yeah. Like 19 hours. WORST MIGRAINE EVER.

So my plan is to stay up from 10pm last night to 10pm tonight... SO FAR ITS BEEN GREAT. Last night started off with a great jump start of 2 excedrine's and a "lunch special" delivered from Imo's. IMO'S PIZZA IS THE SHIT for all of you outside of St. Louis, MO. (Yeah that's right... flat pizza, cut in squares! AH!)

To keep myself awake I FINALLY unpacked from the trip to LA, and of course watched mindless television for hours while constantly refreshing my MySpace homepage to see if anyone else sends messages and comments at 2am.

At like 5am, the good TV starts! Old Saved By The Bell episodes, as well as the worst infomercials ever made for overweight housewives that are actually up at 5am. Hm.

I decided to call the one person that was awake, Dave. He would appreciate my trying to get back onto a sleep schedule. NO! He was like, "Why are you doing that?" I don't think people understand how hard it is for me to go to bed at night. It's a condition! Maybe I like the dark?!

So, around 6:45am I went for a jog around the highschools track. I felt like a Nike ad: out running at daybreak, all decked out with yoga pants and an MP3 player. Wow.

Well then I started running. After about 5 feet the cold air hit my lungs and I was about done before I even started. But it was a nice 1.25 mile run--until my MP3 player broke :( Damn, that ruins the whole vibe.

But aside from the actual physical activity, was the emotional well-being! The people that say "good morning" and the feeling of accomplishment before 8am. WOWZA. I went to Starbucks and got a great greeting there as well. Maybe I am a morning person?!

Nah. I would never actually wake up early enough to do this shit. I only felt that great because I was already awake for 9 hours :) But it was a nice moment nonetheless.

After that I went to Target with Amber (my other friend that LOVES the AM.) We looked for the perfect dog collars. Very exciting for her I'm sure. Then I gave in a had Wendy's chili and fries :(

(It's not fair! They took our Wendy's away in Granite City!)

The rest of the day was handing out resumes to restaurants in the surrounding areas, and more Amber time. MUCH NEEDED GIRL TIME! I am still awake now, at 8pm, and may even go out later with Amber when gets back. Hmmmm. I just need to wake up at 8am no matter what! I am afraid that if I got out, I may pass out on the bar. Wouldn't be the first time...

WELL, update tomorrow!

Much love,
D

p.s... Love that picture of Amber? It's from an ad campaign from 2005--taken by yours truly.

Let's get personal...

Hi all! Meet Dave my ex/ pseudo boyfriend/ friend. Yeah. He's cool.

So, this will be brief. I am currently in the process of possibly mending a two year relationship with David, and I've never been more confused! Ah! We are such good friends, and also share A LOT of things in common. We also have a spark in our eyes when the words kids or marriage are spoken--it's odd. We've been broken up for five months or so, and I know he would be a great BFF and dad. SOOOOOOO, "what's wrong" you may ask??

Well, like most relationships, there are the things that ended them! Mainly we had some lifestyle differences and religious differences. These things can be ignored for a while, but.... WE HAD A HOME TOGETHER. Same address. Same mortgage. We knew marriage may be around the corner.

And tonight. Tonight I realized that we are both WAY to fucking jealous of one another! It's worked out GREAT because we both shared this ridiculous trait, and it was only towards each other. But who knows if either one of us would be like that in any another relationship?? It is nuts though. It's made me hate MySpace, and cell phones, and well, all media through which people can talk. haha.

The MAIN point here: We need to figure something out! If I were with him, my weird jealousies would go away, because I completely trust him as a boyfriend. IT'S WEIRD WHEN YOU ARE NOT TECHNICALLY TOGETHER, YET TALK EVERYDAY. You seem to want to know too much about the other one's personal life. Ew. Bad bad evil gray area. Anyone else been here before?

Here's to no more gray area!! Now if only I had Creagan and some GREYgoose to make this toast proper :)

Miss you Ogden gang!

Much love,
D

A lil something extra...

This is so true. The philosophy is correct... SO IS THE PUNCH LINE!!

Money is important even when you have JUST ENOUGH, but when you say:

"So, ma'am, I was wondering if you can pay the credit card bill, with the credit card itself? Like put it on the bill for next month!"...

Money is VERY important.

D for Vendetta (2006)

Hi all... SEE HOW INNOCENT I AM?? My innocence is discussed later...







So, this is going to be a semi-drunk post. I'm also going to keep it extremely vague and change the story lines a lot. I just have to get a point across.

I got alot done today, I did. I charged all my bills, and I sent off a WONDERFULLY written appeal letter to the state of Missouri for my unemployment hell :)

Tonight was all about reading Rollingstone at Starbucks and watching the movie Just My Luck with my mom. Gotta love Lindsay Lohan...

While I was sitting here comparing that movie's plot--unexpected turn for the worse, and "why does stuff keep happening to me" mentality--I asked my mom if she thought I should apply to work somewhere in town. She was like, "worth a shot! you're a nice girl, and everyone there seems to like you."

This place is a non-corporate cool place where non-hipster locals hang out. Love it. I go in tonight tho and I get a little weird attitude. I didn't know if it was for real at first but it turns out it was...

Has anyone else seen the news stories where they warn you not to write anything on YOUR PAGE on MySpace that you wouldn't want on the front page of a paper?? But no one really expects anyone to say anything about it. No one. Saying stuff that was said as comments to friends should just be taken lightly, especially if it is trying to be helpful. I hope everyone understands that MySpace is a past time. It's a way to be unrealistic in a WAY to dramatic and realistic world. HAVE FUN! fun fun fun...

Another issue with "ew" came up this weekend. I need people to be nice to nice people. That's all: nice to nice people.

Yes, this is the MOST VAGUE message ever. I just want us all to learn the basics. NICE. HONEST. UNDERSTANDING. NOT STUPID. There we go... :)

Aside from that... Tomorrow I may go look for restaurant jobs, and might even go to AB to look into entry level jobs. I MISS CA!! But I'm trying to love STL again. Too bad I have drama where drama doesn't need to be. I guess I'll just never say anything again.

We all know that's not possible :)

Much love!
D

Wait, theres more!

Ok, you have to watch this as well. Shannon's friends that I met a couple weeks ago are Youtube fanatics and...well...this video speaks for its self. It is FUCKING great. PS Jake, I need a roomie too. Let me know dude.

Faces I Remember.......

Hello faithful followers! Happy Monday to you all and here is today's news:

This weekend was a blur for the Ogden Crew (minus the "blonde one" AKA Denise) as we hit the town in West Coast style. Friday was consumed by an evening at "Little Bar". Its a little bar with a frat/Cheers crowd and we got sufficiently hammered for 60 dollars. Nuff Said.

Saturday began with yours truly flopping out of sleepy to make it down to 3rd street by 10 am to serve the masses spinach-less treats and coffee. (NO SPINACH, YOU WILL POOP BLOOD). The day was filled with the usual antics serving food and drink to people with too much money. Joy.

I managed to do a little shopping this weekend, picking up a brand new pair of kicks from our friend Puma as well as squandering too much dough on a Clinque skin care system. A guy needs good skin in Cali. In addition, I got in touch with my inner nerd at a kick ass comic store on Melrose. Bought a few issues and just basically browsed for an hour wishing I could decorate the apartment with Xmen statues.

We also had dinner at a little bbq place near Target on Santa Monica. We all ate too much and the sauce gave me some serious indigestion. Damn chicken wings.

I picked up J Timbers new stuff at the Best Buy at the bargain price of 10 bucks. Im bringing it work tomorrow to bring the sexy back to 3rd street. Woot.

We went to a bar near my work called ST Nicks Pub on Saturday and had a good time. I got to meet Shans new friend from the Cheesecake and her roommate. We all had too much to drink when none other than Ben Savage (Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World) walks by us in a drunken haze. Needless to say, we were star struck. I mean, I watched his curly ass grow up! Too bad, Topanga was no where to be found, she was always so cute. Apparently he is a fixture at the bars around Bev. Hills so, I am sure we will see him agian. Maybe we will be pals. Me and Corey. BFF. Move over Shawn.

Shan saw David Spade and one the Hos from Danity Kane at the Cheesecake last night. Reports conclude that Spade and Locklear are over, since MY roomie saw him with a different blonde bitch. I loved that show you used to be on Dave. RIP Farley.

In other news, Britney's new kid has a name...heres the details:
- The child has dark curly hair
- He weighs 6 lbs, 11 ounces, and is 19 inches long
- Britney and Kevin are undecided on a name, but they're toying with names with the letter "J"
- Most of the combinations of names they came up with had the middle name "James" (yes, also J)

Oh, yea and the name is Sutton Pierce Federline (Spears). Whatever. Britney get in gym, get the blonde back and get an albulm out. I can only listen to Toxic so many more times....

Anyway, I am going to read my new Christopher Moore book and drink my cheap red wine. Oh in case you missed it, yesterday was the final evening for the WB. I grew up and loved that network. So, heres a little tribute that I found after spending sunday night with the pilots of Buffy and Dawson...... width="425" height="350">..>

I'm not married...

Hi all...

So today was my cousin's wedding. My cousin who is two days younger than me, my cousin who I was raised with and therefore feel I'm constantly compared to. Normally, I had as much going for me as she did. I made great money, had a steady boyfriend and had at least one college degree. I was always a lot more eccentric, but that's just my personality versus her very traditional personality.

So, their wedding was beautiful. Perfectly family oriented, and perfectly minimal yet beautiful. She wore a dress passed down for the last three generations, which was altered by herself and her mom. BEAUTIFUL. I must say, I was jealous, but extremely happy for her and Jarrod, her boyfriend of 7 years.

While I can see marriage in my future, I also realize that it may not be for me right now. I knew I would get a lot of "So, when are you going to get married, Denise?" My grandma asked my to REALLY try to catch the bouquet. Well let me tell you, at Dave's BFF's wedding last month, I DID catch it. I also immediately passed it on to the bride's 10 year old cousin. Hmm...

I love weddings... No, no I don't. The idea is cute, and I like the tradition involved, but it's too much work that puts TOO MUCH STRESS on the two most important people involved; instead of creating only happy memories around the idea of marriage. One thing my ex and I have in common is SMALL WEDDINGS! If any! I'm thinking an exotic vacation will suffice :)

Well, tonight I am attempting to unpack one month's worth of shit, as well as suck up to my new freelance client for slacking. This weekend is just hectic because I was struck by the reality of bills, and also have 3 family events in two days.

I hope to have some wedding pics soon! Congrats Rachel and Jarrod Reynolds!

Much Love,
D

Hoosiers and Losers

Boo... what a weird 24 hours :(

So, first night back in town, I hit up the one corporate restaurant: The Bees. Yummy Yummy. Thanks for the dinner David! You are super sweet for watching the puppies and the house! XOXO

Afterward, Dave and I watched my new fav comedian Dane Cook. HE'S FUCKING HILARIOUS!! He's just like me: We both use our hands and our loud ass voices to tell very normal stories. Actually Dane uses his entire body, for every sentence. It's awesome. Check him out at DaneCook.com or MySpace.com/DaneCook.

SOOOOOO... onto the Hoosiers (an Illinois term for redneck idiots) and Losers!

After Dave time, Amber and I went to Starbucks. We were enjoying a nice game of catching up and drinking lattes outside, when this drugged, drunken beeyotch stumbles out the door. She's like, "Hey. Hey you girls. I bought this coffee from the corporate assholes, and they still won't let me use their phone! Those people scare me! So did the ones over at Shop N Save... hm... Well anyway, Can I use one of your cellular phones?

NOW... for the people that truly know me, I'm very down to earth. But I also have my valley girl moments. I give Amber the "Don't fucking think so!" look...

She asks again, "So what? Can I use your phones?"

"Why don't you go back inside to use their phone?" I say...

Keeping a story short... she uses mine (I caved!!) and SNEEZED INTO THE FUCKING PHONE THREE TIMES IN A ROW! SHE KEPT TALKING AS IF GERMS WERE NOT AN ISSUE! Fucking Gross. I washed that bitch with soap and water--the phone that is. Ew. Fucking Ew.

So my fave baristas saw this hoosier spitting at another customers, and were like, "Yeah, GCPD? So her friends plate number is 123 A..." before I even had to ask!! I love them! Luckily there was a cop near that shopping center and they talked to her. SOOOO worth the $3. Coffee and entertainment.

So, today I FINALLY woke all the way up by 1. (11am LA time... we'll say it was jet lag!) I decided today would be the day to get all financial/paperwork done. Plus I had to do some freelance work online. So right off the bat, the internet's not working. OF COURSE. So I mess with Charter Communications. Fucking idiot on the phone. All he had to figure out was that the LAST idiot wrote my number in the computer wrong when Dave and I separated the account. So we figured it out today ourselves. Drove alllll over the place, to find old modem parts. boo.

Then, I had to call Verizon Wireless. They may be worse than Charter. My voicemail from this morning scared me so much! It was like, "We need to make sure your address is fine." WHA????? So I called and it was simply that I never changed my address with them after I moved here. Hmmm.... I create more drama for myself.

So... then onto my main problem: Finaces. I wrote down every bill I have. TOTAL: $2,400. Total in bank account: $150. Hmmm... What do I do? Well, atleast I have my __________? Health? Boo.

And finally, to round out my JOYOUS DAY: I FUCKING HATE THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICES! Double booey boo to you! I called today to inquire on my PROPERLY done claim, from last week. It's direct deposited, so it should be here I say. They respond with, "It may take three weeks." WHAAAAAA ???????? What about people that have families? This is all bullshit. These bitches have fucked me sideways like three times. I hate them. I'm having a Denise benefit concert. Any one interested? (Any band wanna play??) haha.

Tonight was supposed to do the the horse track... but you can't bet and drink for free. So,... here I am. Being good. Staying at home :) I may go out later if I can convince Dave to buy me drinks... haha.

Much love,
D

p.s. I know I reached my F bomb quota for the week. It was just necessary today... alot.

Ciao for now Denise!

So, this 6:30 a.m. thing is really tuckering out your favorite un-material girl. But, to all (3) of the loyal fans out there: a blog has henceforth begun:

Like all good things, Denise's stay had to come to an end this morning. As I rushed out the door to catch the short bus to 3rd Street, I made sure to wake her up and wish her luck with call-backs. I really, really hope she gets to come back sometime soon. But, in general, I just hope she gets settled in whatever she chooses and is HAPPY.

Last night we had a the quintessential going away drink with the Ogden Crew plus Kristen. Our plan was to go play Drag Queen Bingo at Hamburger Mary's. Sadly, during Drag-Queen Bingo, their fabulous drink specials aren't so fab and the "requested" dontation to play the B I N G O is T W E N T Y smackers. NO THANKS!
So we sauntered down the street to visit "ICandy". Sadly, we were the only ones who thought this was a good idea because NO ONE was there except us and a few sad looking homos around the bar. It was an excellent space though. The sunken seating baffled us for just a few minutes before we hiked up our skirts and slid in.

When the club scene isn't hoppin, the next best thing to drinking is eaten! So, we headed back to MARYS for a crazy spread of apps and soft drinks. Needless to say, my pants are tighter today because of it. But, who can say no to fried everything and mini-burgers? Not me. Not Shan. Not Denise. Not James. You get the picture.

So, the perfect end to a perfect night wasn't the carryout boxes we hauled down Santa Monica. HELL NO! Don't forget...PROJECT RUNWAY. Denise and I caught that shit on re-run as soon as we peeled off our clothes and slid into t-shirts and shorts. Kayne, as I figured, was Auf-fed last night. I must admit, I had a small crush. His dress wasn't as bad as Uli's (not a fan) but, he had been fucking up hardcore. Kayne, if you're ever in WeHo, let's talk about...clothes or how hot you are or...you know, whatever.

Ok, gotta peace OUT for now kiddos. Look forward to Denise posting with updates from the Mid-West. I'm sure SOMETHING is bound to happen there....(LOL)

More about Vaginas

While Denise feels she must fill our blog's pages with details about her LIFE, I feel the need to keep you updated on my celebrity obsession. For starters: Britney gave birth again today! Depite previous reports, she popped out a boy again this time. I am kind of sad to be honest, I wanted to see what Britney would do with a girl. I'm sure we will see a picture really soon, I know I'm on the edge of insanity waiting to see if it looks like a tater tot like little Sean P! We drove by Cedars today where she made Federline a dad for the fourth time. I was like, I bet she is still in there! Thank god for self control. A few years ago I would have stormed the front doors with a Britney Barbie and a Sharpie Marker doing the "oops" dance with a boom box blasting "Stonger". The restraining order doesn't allow that type of behavior anymore. : (

Again, Lohan has flashed the cameras her puss. I can NOT believe her publicist is not making her wear some panties after the last incident turned out to, in fact, be true. If you want to see the disaster, head over to perezhilton.com, I refuse to allow such frightening material on THIS classy site. To quote Denise:

"Geez, put a bandaid on it at least!"

That gave me a good laugh. I really did love little Lohan until recently. I miss the days when she was Katy, when she was not a whore, when...I hadn't seen her vagina lips gaped open like some tacky abstract painting. Goo.


In case you haven't heard, Anna Nicole gave birth as well just a few days ago. Sadly, her son died in the hospitial room shortly after Anna welcomed a new baby girl into the world. Reports are simply stating that Daniel died of "unnatural causes", which could be ruled a heart attack. Rumors are circulating that Daniel may have had anti-depressants and other drugs in his system at the time of his collapse. Regardless, I have always been a fan of Anna and hope she is doing ok.


I am planning on seeing "The Little Mermaid" this week on the big screen. It is playing at the "El Capitan" theater on Hollywood Blvd. for just a week before it is released as a special-edition DVD next month. In addition, Ariel will hit Broadway with a new stage show based on the Disney classic. In addition to the beloved music we all know from the hit film, Alan Menken and lyricist Glen Slater will be adding updated music. The show will premier in Denver next summer. I've been waiting my entire life for this. I used to pretend that I had long, red hair and seashells on a daily basis when I was a young gay. Memories....


My job search continues. I need an evening job so I can get back on track money wise. Im keeping my hopes up about Marmalade in the Grove. But, if it doesn't work out, then I'm bound to find something. "Who's" has been working out well. The money isn't great, but to be honest, I would probably just me sleeping if I weren't there. Plus, no bitches can tell me what to do there. I think I may have control issues...

Ok, good enough! Why don't you write some comments if you're reading this shizz? GOD! : )

PUPPETMASTERS!

Wow... meet one of my puppetmasters: Designer Eddia Mirharooni from Eddia men's collections in Beverly Hills. The other is Steve Dubane, a co-Account Executive from Wingman Media Inc, but his picture was unavailable :(

So, today so far has been dedicated to my first SECOND interview in LA. It was with Eddia in his Beverly Hills flagship store. I walk in, and the main point man, Kevin, was like, "I vote for you. Good first impression!" in his seemingly European accent. Well, the pressure was on. Eddia walks out of his office with yet AGAIN another interview right before me: a sharply dressed guy about my age. Hm, boy v. girl? Who knows what they are looking for, YOU NEVER DO!

So, the interview was more fast paced this time: "What can you do for me, seriously?!" he says...

"Well, 1,2,3,4,5... I say."

He replies with, "design an ad for me, now, on this piece of paper."

WHATTTTTTTTTTTT??? OMG!!! WHAT????????????

I seriously smile, and say, "O.k..." I begin to talk to him like a client would a business owner. He stops me abruptly and asks me to just put down what I SEE for his ads. I tell him that this is not a normal process; that NORMALLY you work together to give the artist insight for their final presentations of the ad. That was a risky move on my part, but I wanted to let him know that I was simply suffering from anxiety and writer's block as a result of his unusual demand.

In the end of this fiasco, he gave this weird nod when I presented him the roughly sketched ad, and wrote, "6-print ads" in the list of "things I can do." SO WHO KNOWS.

The end of my second interview was me going upstairs in the adjacent office to meet the contracted Director of Marketing. He works for Unlimited Licensing Corp (or something like that) and they represent Playboy and Pamela Anderson just to name a few. For this reason, I for once used the name Hooters Promotions Coordinator, instead of HOA,Inc. promo coordinator, when he asked my experience! :)

He was a great guy, with a RIDICULOUS office (seriously) but I understood from the beginning that I had 2 minutes to impress this guy. I think/hope I did. I was right about the two minutes. I was quickly escorted back to Eddia's store, and told, "O.k... I be calling you, yes!?" WELL I HOPE SO!!! YES!

Time will tell... I have 48 hours.

I'm still waiting to hear from Steve Dubane. They interviewed me on Wednesday of this previous week, and said they LOVED me. Steve told me he had to interview through Friday evening, but that it would be to my advantage to prepare a small presentation of what I would do in my first 30 days. They are aware of my moving needs, and he said that if I got a call, THAT would be my second interview--a conference call where I would read this presentation to him and his partner (his "wingman".)

You see, these people are my puppetmasters for the fact that they are in control of my life right now! If I get hired, within 5 days I will leave for a trip across the country! It's nuts! Please o please guys, GIVE A GIRL A CALL. I was completely happy for the second interview with Eddia, yet I am really wanting a second chance with Steve Dubane as well. Hopefully grand things lie ahead for me; I have definitely felt it get worse before it gets better. This string of bad luck--or bad decisions--has humbled me even more than I could ever imagine. I hope I am recognized for not only my talents in the boardroom, but for my drive and hunger for something better. Something great.

Much love,
D

NO BUENO!!

Hi all... meet our new Spanish friend, No Bueno, as well as Bill, a regular in our neighborhood, and a citizen of the world!

Yesterday, as you may have read, was relatively boring. Around 5pm Creagan says, "Hey Denise, wanna get a drink? You know, just one, an just to get out of the house?" Now, in my mind, I'm like, "HA! One drink?" Well, neither one of us had any plans, so I decided to humor my dear friend and go for this "one drink." We called our favorite cheapy bar and it turns out they have a happy hour on Sundays. It was over before it even began...

We get there, and the bartender poured us vodka with splashes. No half and half mixes, no precise 1.25 ounce shot plus a lot of juice. OH MY GOD! One half, of one drink, and I was done. Well, at the bar, I decide to do a Sociological experiment. In my buzzed little world, I thought that "writing a note that says George Michael in in the bar and placing it on the men's restroom sink" was a good idea. I wanted to see how quickly the rumor spread!

Now to think this was fun you would have to understand the concept of this pub. "Gold Coast" is in West Hollywood (Gay mecca), and its key demographic seems to be 30-60. The drinks are under $5 and the happy hour has $1 beers and $2.50 well drinks. I thought my idea was BRILLIANT! I thought these men would flip out over George Michael, just as the customers of Rage and Mickey's would flip out over a visit from Britney Spears. Well, I got some reaction: lots of people leaving the restroom's hallway were looking around over the crowd, quickly scanning the whole bar. One man I talked to said, "Who the fuck cares about George Michael--ew." So anyway, it was worth it. I also made a contact for a freelance PR job for a new restaurant while I was drunk, AWESOME!

So, it was fun. On our DRUNKEN stumble home, we were YELLING all down Santa Monica. It didn't matter what we were saying; we were having a ball. About two blocks from Ogden, this freak of nature puts an arm around each of us and starts rambling Spanish. Apparently we were not the only drunk people walking in West Hollywood at 9pm. We asked him to go away, and he started grabbing at us even more! So, we do what any two girls would do--RUN! We sprint for two blocks, and close the door behind us. Shannon and James were like, "What's the commotion?"

WELL, the next 30 minutes is summed up like this: Crazy guy followed us home, I yelled Spanish out of the balcony door at the asshole "No bueno puto!!" (throwing in fuck here and there), he climbed up to our balcony door like the freak that he was, the neighbors start yelling profanities at us, we call 911, three sheriffs show up and arrest the guy for breaking and entering, I ball my eyes out for no reason to Dave on the phone, and finally, I was afraid to sleep downstairs for fear of our little drunk friend returning. WHAT A NIGHT...

Today was nice though! Since Creagan was off work, we walked like 8 blocks for our daily coffee fix instead of going to our usual Starbucks across the street. We wanted to finally try The Coffee Bean, and this particular location is known for celeb sightings. Well, no celebs (but ourselves) so we went to the Rite Aid, bought some "I'm sorry" cards for Shannon and James, and went home and did nothing for hours. WE HEART MYSPACE.

Later on we were on a hunt for the movie Clueless, and we walked everywhere! All down Santa Monica. First, we realize we walked in the wrong direction. Then we realize that the "movie rental" venue from CitySearch.com was in fact "Casanova's Adult Video and Books." Wow. So we decide to keep truckin. We have some Chinese at Canton's near Trader Joes, and eventually find ourselves at Target. What the hell, we went ahead and bought it--we had walked for like an hour.

On the way home, we passed our FAVORITE theatre: Pussycats pornography. OKAY OKAY! No, we never go there... but the outside movie posters are a daily delight! As shown above, there are little miracles all over LA, you just have to open your eyes, and walk for 40 blocks a day!

Have a great night!

Much love,
D

Tribute

While we all may not follow the beliefs of our military leader, and the place he has taken us in world politics, we should pay our respects to those innocent people who died as a result of the world's fury against us. I went onto my favorite blog today, and in place of his usual querky celeb gossip, there it was, the list of all 2,996 names from the crashes. Oh my.... it's the worst sight--your jaw just drops. I saw one of my favorite memorial pictures there as well, which is displayed here with the words "In Memoriam."

Moment of silence...

The best vacation ever!

Hi all... So these are pics from last night, and we'll discuss them later :)

So this is ending up being the best vacation ever! I am lounging around all day... sipping Starbucks and vodka (separately of course)... and getting to hang out with great people--old friends and new! What more could you ask for?

Oh yeah...

Money. A Job. Oh that's right. This is not a vacation. Well... it's Sunday, not different than yesterday. I was in a mood all day yesterday, and today I woke up early!! Like, normal early: 7am, for no reason. I’ve already had a nice (almost argument) conversation with the ex, Dave, experienced 6 hours of quality internet time, and have now gotten ready for ______? I was going to go with Shannon to visit Creagan at his new café, “Who’s on 3rd.” But she's still gone (as is James and Creagan, boo).

So last night, the Ogden gang went out for Shannon's 25th birthday, again, but this time was to be low key. We found a "great dive bar" in Hollywood with $3-4 drinks. Holla! That's all we need to hear. It took us a good 45 minutes to find a parking spot, but... finally we enter "The Spotlight." A great gay dive bar... WHOA! You walk in, and there is this skinny, blonde, flexy dancer thing in a black speedo trying to be sexy! ICK! It was very no bueno. However! We heard this place was awesome... Turns out, the music selection was great, the owner was bartending and gave Shannon this insane birthday shot you took with a beer bong funnel, and we were camera happy!! I love love love digital cameras. We looked like idiots, but we took like 30 pics. So fun!

On the way home I do believe I almost got our asses kicked. We were in line at the worst laid-out drive thru EVER, so James left some room for on-coming cars to get thru. THESE BITCHES pull in front of us--like we were fucking just sitting there pondering burgers. Well, o.k... I can understand. But then this OTHER car comes flying around the corner and pulls in RIGHT between us. I don't know what came over me (o.k. I do... I'm me) but I just yelled something like "Hey bitches! What the fuck do you think you're doing" from the back of James' car (the little kid-proof window blocked most of what I was saying.) I think the girls TOTALLY heard me, though. One of them shot me the worst look ever! Bitches. We were hungry.

So... on a less stressful note, the Ogden gang had conversations of "What's next?" last night. What if I don't move back? What if their jobs don't work out for them? Where is Creagan going to live in a few months? Where am I going to end up in a couple months?

We then discussed how Creagan should become a published author, screenplay writer, or urban journalist. His published freelance portfolio is looking great, and we want him to submit that, along with his resume, all over the city!! He's amazing, really. The LA newspaper that LOVES him is even putting out MySpace bulletins anytime he submits something.

Shannon then finished the conversation with, "What about the blog? I read it everyday. You're going to keep it up right?? I mean, you could do St. Louis if you have to move back there, and Charles could do LA." Well, I know I will keep writing. Something about this has helped clear my mind during this otherwise hectic and frustrating time of my life. (I'm in love this with blog, I am.) But I'm not done asking "what if" questions. What the hell will I be doing in two weeks???

Well, hopefully I eat soon. I'm getting sick of my spinach salads with Mexican cheese and oysters crackers. I need real food! Currently we have no plans tonight, but things always change in the place of a minute in LA!

Much love,
D

When it rains, it pours...

Hi all...

So, not much is going on today. I am applying for jobs like CRAZY now. Anything that pays well and is somewhat in my field, I'd be all about. I'm getting alot of response to freelance work. It makes you wonder if you could make a living just doing all part-time work. I know that especially in big cities alot of people do the messenger-dog walker-courrier thing, BUT I cannot move across the country for that reason.

WHY??? Why not call lil ole Denise back mother-fuckers?

Still waiting on the dream job, but in the meantime, its poor-folk fun for the Ogden gang. Atleast everyone in the house is starting to work... those great lil job that help pay the bills. However, they are also looking for second jobs to pay for our lifestyle of alcohol and mindless shopping. I cannot get one of these jobs though--its just not fair to the employer for me to leave in less than a week. Boo.

So, tomorrow is the first day I can RESIGNUP for unemployment. I hate everything about state agencies. They treat you like you are scum. I have had one AMAZING operator in my whole Missouri unemployment journey, and she got my address wrong. Hmm. Nothing in that realm can go right. Update and insight: Because I was waiting for my first few weeks of unemployment claims to go through, I didn't attepmt any new online claims. APPARENTLY, I didn't log in for 28 days, so they assumed I was employed. FUCKERS!! I did try to do another claim online! I hate them. Boo.

Well, now that I got that out of my system... I have a chance to appeal for the $1,490 I "LOST"... and after the next seven days I will successfully receive my second installment of $269. (The first one from August 2nd is apparently HELD for state funds. That's just the protocol. FUCK THE PROTOCOL!

So, today is officially Shannon's b-day! Last night we partied hard... and long. I only spent like $30 all day. I was SO proud of myself. Shit, normally I'm like, "I've got this round of shots!!" and it's atleasttttt $30. Anyway, we went to our favorite kareoke happy hour a few blocks from our house at FUBAR. I did well last week singing,.. but the Ogden gang wanted me to sing Madonna. Well, let's all be honest, everyone knows their personal strenths and their own good keys to in which to sing. This song was NEITHER. I was horrible! haha But IT WAS ENTERTAINING!!

After FUBAR we went to the SaddleRanch! WHOO HOO!! It was fun. We all drank so much at the last bar (for $9 a round, you're damn right!) we were already good to go. The bartenders were hott, and there were coutry bandanas and boobs ALL AROUND. The Ogden gang asks me to go around asking guys who was gay and who wasn't. And you know what, when I'm buzzed, I'll ask anything to anyone. It was SO much fun. We have a new lesbian friend to add to our querky GAYsha house here.

Today, we ordered a pizza, and Creagan and I walked the 8 blocks to get it (work it out bitches...) On the way home, we went in to the 7-11. While I was in line, some NUT was like,... "heyyyyy, nice ass." I just looked forward. Then, in his rapsy GROSS voice, he continued by saying, "Nice ass! God, I wish Paris Hilton was here!" WHATTTTTTT?

what the fuck....

The people you meet in West Hollywood are priceless. One of my interviewers asked me why I wanna live in this neighborhood so badly... well, it's because of this shit. FUN!

Creagan and I also are going to trademark something that was derived from a SouthPark episode with the Underwear Gnomes. If you HAVE NOT SEEN THIS.... scroll down, b/c you will think I've gone crazy :) We were just quoting the scene:

"Step one: collect underpants.
Step two:_________
Step three: PROFIT!"

WELL, then we got on the topic of Paris Hilton again, and we were like,

"Step one: Be heiress.
Step two:___________
Step three: PROFIT!"

NOW, in the show, the whole episode is like, "WHAT'S STEP TWO!!!???" and the idiot gnomes would just look at the SouthPark boys with this empty stare. Well, we too feel that people like Paris (who we actually for some reason LOVE) make a name from nothing!! Yeah, NOW she has the successful perfume line and a semi-successful single, but I mean before that. So if ANYONE puts out some porn, gets arrested a few times, and makes out in public while wearing the smallest skirts EVER, we too shall prevail. We too shall get to step three. It's insane to think about how hard college grads (both BAs and MAs) have to work to get 1/10th as far as she will. What did she do? Had a great-grandpa. Nuts. Well, Kudos to her atleast over coming the porn problem and ALMOST turning into a lady.

And finally... As we are now done eating and have been sitting around for the last four hours... I was reading up on how a new spin has been given to the "Lonelygirl15" thing. On "her" webiste there was a post in the second forum that made HUGE YouTube news. A letter from the CREATORS of the show thanked all of their viewers. So there you go. Once again though... while some are outraged... THE HYPE IS HIGHER THAN EVER! Yet another brilliant marketing ploy! These "creators" should be given a pat on the back. Their weird little mini-series made national news!

So... here we are, sitting around, and wouldn't you know it, THE FUCKING BALCONY FLOOR FROM UPSTAIRS FELL FROM THE FUCKING BUILDING. We just stared. "So.. who do we call?" LOL.

Luckily I'm alive to type this... seeing as the hundred pound 8ft x 10ft piece of metal fell right by the BBQ grill (and we all know who's been cooking lately, haha :) WOW. So, they removed it. I'm like "FREE RENT FUCKERS!"

Well see. Longest post ever. Time for drinky.

Much love,
D

"Drunkeness is nothing else but a voluntary madness." Lucious Annaeus Seneca

I apologize for the "London Bridge" blog from last night. I was kind of drunk and felt it necessary to write a blog at 3:00 am. That's me, priorities, priorities!

So, to retract the retraction: the Lohan 'gina was real. Her puss is not a red monster but worse, a tiny pair of male cojones. Ms. Linds also got her Hermes Berkin bag stolen today at the airport with like a million dollars worth of jewels and "asthma" medications. Who the hell does she think she is, Elizabeth Taylor? Pictures of her crying in the streets are all over the media. I say, get over it kid. Sell Dina. She's worth at least fifty bucks to a desperate computer programmer looking for a white trash wife. It's a mere suggestion.

So, today is Shannons awesome pre-birthday celebration. We may have a chance to go to Key Club tonight, but are starting the party at FUBAR for some entertainment per Denise, our Karaoke Queen. I picked up a little something for her today but more importantly, made her a hilarious five page card. I think I may have found my calling. Slightly offensive personalized Birthday Cards!!! WOOT WOOT!

I actually got a lot done today! I was on time for work AGAIN. (Thank the Lord for small miracles). After 30 minutes of actual work, I sat on my ass and wrote a letter to my dad about my new life here in Wonderland. I don't feel like actually talking to him on the phone and this way it's easier to communicate what I'm trying to get across. I mean, I DO miss getting yelled at and spit on at the same time. Also, I miss repeating myself six times before he understands an ounce of what I'm talking about. This way, he can just re-read it as many times as he sees fit. Plus, I owe him some letters from back in the Bremen days (any of you remember that 46 day drunk fest?). I got to edit the entire "Coming Out" piece and get a few more pages down on that. Plus, I got paid almost 7 dollars an hour and made more than 20 bucks in tips! WOOT! Woot! Woot!

The bussers do all the work at 3rd. I just chat to people all day and make a few drinks. Granted, I tip them out quite a bit. But, its sooo worth it. I had an interview at "Marmalade" in the Grove. Have another interview with them next week. They need someone to re-image their Host staff and implement a training program for new host/ess. I think I could be good at this. Plus, its a jive place. I have yet another interview on Saturday at Crossroads on Melrose. It's a place you bring your clothes and they give you credit or cash. Imagine the first run shit though! Awesome, right.

PS...what is up with my "Sometimes" quote at the end of the blog? I don't quite know where I was going with it, but before I went off into oblivion I was writing about Vagina. I hope I don't have some wired Vagina thing. Gross. No offense to those readers with Vaginas. I respect that I came out of one, I just think they are kinda weird. OK...No more puss talk for at least a week.

Speaking of, Shannons friend Dan thought I was straight. And that Denise and I were together. BWWWHAHHAHA! I do say , DUDE a lot around the hetero males. It's a defense mechanism, I suppose. What are ya gonna do? Sig Ep for life bitches!

Balance: $167.00 BOO :(

Meet "Bree" a character I will discuss later...

So... lets discuss my Friday. No call back from Sotheby's, o.k. I did not let myself get too excited. I am anxiously waiting for a call back from Wingman Media, Inc., whom I interviewed with Wednesday, sent a thank you letter to Thursday, and now I'm WAITING ON FRIDAY! They did tell me their interviewing process would go until the end of the day on Friday. Hopefully I hear SOMETHING by Monday or Tuesday. (It's my dream job right now...)

So, in the meantime, I'm watching What not to Wear and am now OBSESSED with YouTube! I have gone there several times to watch a particular video... but not until today did I just look at all the different links.

It's mindless blogging and probably fake news... but I'm addicted to this guilty pleasure!! AND ITS FREE!!!

So... the root of my obsession today:

The NY Times andddddd the LA Times have BOTH written full-length feature stories on this 16 yr old video-blogger named Bree. It's weird, and has alot of twists. With over 25 videos in like 3 months... her videos have seen as many as 700,000 hits--A PIECE!!

It's crazy. There are schools of thought for the blogs all together... and people are starting to go crazyyyy over this bloglist and have created theories. People think this whole video-blogging is a promotion or marketing PLOY... this girl might be in an up and coming film, which now would have a huge following!! Even the video blog COMMENTS have seen tens of thousands of hits.

I highly recommend getting hip to this phenomenon. It will take you a day to read thru all this shit, but its cool nonetheless.

I discovered this by accident today while reading MY fav blogger's website:

Visit Trents AMAZING celeb gossip at: Pinkisthenewblog.com... go to the end of today's post and look thru his news links. When you see this link for lonelygirl15, click on the hyperlink at the end of the sentence.

Here's one comment I wrote after watching a couple HOURS of this footage:

SO... This is the NEW THEORY!! YOU ARE JOEY,... and Daniel is DAWSON. You guys stay in some bedroom behind closed doors and make lil movies, with your uber religious parents in the house!! How it this possible? You words are rediculous, your subject matter is crazy, yet addictive... and as the three months have gone on... the core relationship has became something to watch. Almost like Ross and Rachel on Friends, ORRR Joey and Dawson on Dawson's Creek. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T SEEN THESE MOVIES... don't feel confused... just go watch them. It's nuts. FIRST, read the article that was published recently published in the LA Times (link on Trent's blog.)

wow.... what a morning/afternoon. This blog is kind of all over the place... but I swear this story is making news from coast to coast. Enjoy!!

Much love,
D

My London Bridge is Fallin Down

Welcome to the end of Summer. So, school has started and the trees are, well, still palm trees here in LA. Do the trees change color in the fall here? I'm unsure, but it seems obvious that hair colors are changing all around me on a weekly basis. Today, I had a lovely time on the bus headed to my first day all alone at Who's on Third. I met a buxom girl who works at a boutique near my cafe called, "Puppies and Babies". She seemes like a lovely lesbian, but I despise the name of the store. I think it sounds like that daycare in Granite, "Rainbows and Lolipops".

So, as you may know, last night was spent at a bar in the Valley watching Lojic play another venue. I do enjoy the music they perform, although its not exactly my favorite type of material. I invited a new friend to join the girls and I to the show after I couldn't make a dinner date with him. Needless to go into extreme detail about this particular homo because I feel like I don't know the guy well enough to make fun of him on a blog. Let's just say that me no likey. Period. Puffy vests are bad.

Tonight was a good, good evening. I had a nice nap. NICE. Then, the gals and I decided to lure some of our new straight friends down the street to some of the fabulous gay establishments. They actually didn't show up til about 3 establishments into the evening. Forgive us if we were a bit drunk, but still having an excellent time. We all ended up hanging out at RAGE, which has no cover tonight and boosts some good music and drunk boys. We thouroghly enjoyed.

Summarizing life right now is difficult. I am having a good time with good friends. Although worries still creep into my head at times, the marathons of Project Runway and Roseanne are helping keep them at bay. I am still interviewing for an evening job and writing more than I have in the past.

I feel so bad for my favorite heiress, Ms. Hilton. Between the CDs, the Bungalow REJECTION in NYC and now a suspected DUI, she's having a rough month. If you need anything Paris, I'm just down the hill. Knock three times. I can help. I promise. : )

To retract a previous post: the Lohan 'gina is a fraud ( or so says the publicist, showing up with a photo of her in pink panties..BOO) Good thing, I thought her Vagina looked like a small set of nuts. Isnt it wierd that I capitlize "Vagina" automatically. Its just my respect for the female. It runs deep....

Anyway, I have Ramen waiting and have to be up in a few hours, so keep these as words to live by:

"Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I'm scared of you. But all I really want is to hold you tight. Treat you right. Be with you day and night. Baby. All I need is time."

WOOT!