REALLY. This was said yesterday when a guy pal of mine saw a 70 year old with 6" of beads around her fragile little neck. Way to go granny!!Thanks to Douche, my new bff.
So yesterday was St. Louis' Mardi Gras parade.
This was my second year attending the festivities, however my first year remembering them.
I did one thing right: I had a boyfriend around. Say what you will, it is a GOOD thing for me. I am someone that needs a drinking leash "Whoa slow down, girl!" kind of thing. Last year, I did the "Pre-drink with Angela and Ann" at my old house. We filled "soccer-kids togo cups" with tea and vodka, and they were consumed on the 12 minute drive to downtown STL. Yikes. Needless to say, I was lost, with out a purse or phone, and had my mother pick me up at a temporary "police-sub-station" (a.k.a. the scariest gas station in town) at 11pm. What a nice young woman I had become.
SO, THIS YEAR HAD TO BE DIFFERENT!! I was not going to be lost. My phone would have power (I brought two extra chargers). I would not try to make out/attempt to make out with strangers. I would be able to feel my feet. I would actually SEE the parade. Yes yes yes.
And you know what? CHECK CHECK CHECK! While Amanda, Luke, Creagan, and I, as well as Douche and Kyle, all had the 48oz Hurricanes from hell, I drank mine slowly, enjoyed the parade, and remained conscious the entire day! My chest stayed in my shirt, and thanks to all the boys, and "Old man with toy stuffed dog on an 8-foot stick" we got TONS of beads!
However, I must say, going with like seven people, and "hoping" to meet up with like 2 extra people each, is a J-O-K-E joke. WHAT a clusterfuck our lives were from 2pm-4pm. "WHO'S STILL I THE PORTA-POTTY LINE" "LAFAYETTE AND WHAT?" "WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" "NO NO NO I SAID GEYER NOT GAYER. 9TH AND GEYER!!"
Yuck. We walked all over trying to find our own group that had "I will be the wanderers" built into it, as well as my girlfriends that wanted to skip the best part of the day, and show up mid-afternoon to a bunch of complete FUCKS peeing while walking or starting "Plastic Fires" mid-street. After trying to find Kristen "Macys" for like 2 hours, or find one gay bar in that cluster, I was like "TO THE APARTMENT!"
So thanks to Nick and C for obliging me :) So nice. We had a chance to finish our 2nd 48oz drink from hell, and then decided to go to the westend and get some culinary delight at Culpepper's.
Enter Culpeppers: The place that everyone that was mad about the crowds decided to go to.
Enter our Server (we'll call him Bob): Bob had both floors of the restaurant to himself I swear, as they probably cut the rest of the staff early due to slow sales. HOLY HELL.
Yo Bob, we know you're busy. No really, we've all been servers. JUST BRING SOMETHING. ONE DRINK, 3 STRAWS, WE DON'T CARE. Yes, 2 people joined us. No they actually want menus, not to have you say, "Well, we're known for our wings" as you walk away and forgot to take their drink orders. Ha. Anyway, Bob was nice, just toooooo busy for anyone to enjoy the fake "Mac n Cheese penne surprise."
So, enter my real Grandma: I'm sitting there, waiting for my second Grey Goose, and bro Dougy calls: "Hey, not sure if you got mom's voicemail. Grandma's in the hospital with a stroke and seizure, you need to be here now."
Heartbroken. Absolutlely heart-broken. She is my co-being. The traits run rampid through the women on that side: Type A, very caring, yet very heard-headed women. But above all, "would do anything for anyone" kind of women.
... And yet I could do nothing but be there in that ER room. I could hold her hand, and act/pray (yes, even Catholics from my generation turn to prayer at times) that her speech could and WOULD come back if I said the right thing.
I stayed with her and my own mother in the hospital til 7am. None of us really sleeping, but once in a while nodding off knowing that my root of all goodness in my life is lying there secretly crying, silenced by the fact that her words are incomprehendable, whipering small mumbled prayers that someone, somewhere can understand her.
Please, someone understand her... and help her today.
Keep her in your thoughts.
D
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