Attack of the Pod People

Without trying to sound too "Sex and the City", I have been having some major date/men problems lately. Its sad that it is almost all I can think about, but I've had an unusal amount of bullshit the last few weeks and since Denise has revived the blog, I feel like I can share it with unmaterialgirls and the millions of readers we have everyday.

Now, if you know me, you know that I have been labeled as the "Samantha" more times than I would like to admit. Granted, I have had only a few real relationships and tend to love em and leave em, I would like to spout a disclaimer:

Although I tend to go through men faster than a loaf of bread, it doesn't make me a slut. I use protection and hardly ever have real gay sex. I am the king of the make out and the mutal enjoyment, whether oral or hand related. I am not a whore and don't appreciate being called one.

With that out there, let me break down a few of the recent additions to the sitcom that is my life. Names have NOT been changed because this all happened...if you have a problem with it then stop acting like a big pile of dog shit and you'll have glowing reviews on my fucking blog...

(breathe...)

Ok, here it goes:

First off, we have "Dhino". (yep just like that cartoon..."Dino the last Dinosaur"). This guy is around my age, likes comic books and other dumb shit that I do and has an exotic phillipino look to him. All in all, a seemingly nice guy. We hung out at Universal Studios City Walk the day they announced the new LA "Wicked" cast. His friend, James, joined us and seemed put off that some stupid boy (me, of course) was around to ruin his time alone with Dhino. Maybe thats just me being paranoid, but we didn't seem to hit it off right away. Although this (James) was a crick in my neck, Dhino and I had a good time. He laughed at my stupid jokes, he told me I had a wonderful smile and even invited me to go to Disney the next day with his friends. I had to work and therefore, turn him down, but we had a good time. We ended up messing around and he fell asleep completly wrapped around me and told me I was an "awesome" kisser. Needless to say, I didnt save his phone number and had a bit of a Myspace debacle to find him later. We have played a hit and miss game and it seems like he wants to hang out, but it never happens. We went as far as to SCHELDULE a date on Monday....but because his phone is not working and he can't for some reason, leave me a message on myspace...it never happened. I thought that at the least we could of been friends, but, I dont see anything developing...Ive basically given up on this one.

Next up is Jonathon. He looks like a cross between Macully Culkin and Jeremey Hearn. I met him through Lisa, my friend from Puppies and Babies. We were hanging out with her friends at Cantina, having a good time. Jon seemed geniunly interested and we found out that both of us had lived in chicago and went to Columbia. GREAT! He asked if I was single not once, but TWICE. His friend, Brandon, got wasted and asked me my name 3 times. By the end of the night, he was trying to make out with me and slurring to Lisa that he "Wanted to kiss her friend". As things go, I wasnt wasted and did not want to kiss him. But, right as "King of Wishful Thinking" came on the bar's sound system, it was determined that Brandon had had enough of 2 of 1 drinks. Lisa was trying to carry him out..which is rediculous. Jon is a little guy...much smaller than Brandon, so I took over and carried Bran to his car. He thanked me a bunch of times and I just smiled and walked away. I told Jon..."Sorry man...I just didnt want Lisa to have to carry him" He was like "Dont be sorry, that was nice" and kept staring at me...so I kissed him. He kissed me back and offered me and Lisa a ride home. After we dropped off Lisa he pulled into the alley behind my apartment and we made out pretty heavily for 20 minutes or so with Brandon passed out in the back seat. At one point, he asked me if I had a condom. I said, yes I do, but I dont wanna have sex with you in a car, in an alley, with your BFF passed out in the back seat. He laughed and agreed, we made out a bit more and I excused myself to go inside. He asked me when he could see me again and I reminded him that we were all supposed to go out the next night....he smiled and said that it would be great...
The next day we text messaged back and forth and we ended up meeting up again (including Lisa) at Cantina...this story is crazy and will follow after I get done talking about boys...but basically, he ignored me completely and his friends were complete ass holes. Like, totally some of the worst people I've ever met. Usually, I want people to like me so bad I dont care if they are douches, but...yea...
Needless to say, after I had enough, I headed to the usual Sunday spot, RAGE. Lisa's friends said that they thought Rage was gross and so I didnt expect them to show. Imagine my surprise when Jon, Jules and Jules stupid friend all waltz in. Pissed me off. Not only did they continue to not talk to me...they just wanted drama with Lisa. Ive not communicated with Jon since...but I did meet...

Chris. I met him at Rage that night and we danced and kissed and had a good time. By the time he wanted to actually talk, I was too drunk and just told him so. We exchanged information and have messaged back and forth on myspace. He seems really cool and I hope that it doesnt turn to shit like the rest of this had.

This is just a sample of the on goings lately. I also met a guy, David, who kept repeating he worked at Hollister and wrote his number on my arm. I think he may have been like 18 or something...so I just rinsed that off and pledged to be more selective

The rest are not even worth mentioning, but they have added to my disapointment in West Hollywood's gay men. Is it just that there are so many of us here that everyone is waiting for something better? I dont know. I long for the days of St Louis where I saw the same people and everyone was over making the rounds. Hmmm..

To tell you about the "Friends" at Cantina. They are all industry people or in some closely related field. One guy was a stylist for Jonathon (BLOW OUT) in Bev. Hills. He introduced himself by saying just that. I was like...ok...cool

Then another guy said, Oh...Im on trust fund I have so much time I dont know what to do with it!! I said, If youre a Trust Fund brat, what are you doing at 2 for 1 happy hour? No one who has to work for a living wants to hear you brag about your trust. He was ugly anyway and on something stronger than Vodka.

The immediate group that I had met before were so self involved with their rediculous dramas, that nothing else could be talked about. This was the second night in a row I had to hear about stupid, childish bull. The first night wasnt as bad and I let it slide more because sometimes, thats how it is ...but ...come on

If you want to sit around and bitch about your friends, do it at home. Dont invite others along who dont know the drama and are bored with listening to it. Brandon (The drunk one I carried to the Car) didnt remember my name AGAIN and seemed surprised when I asked how he was feeling. I was surprised that he already had 2 long islands in front of him and was slurring his words already at 7:30 pm.

So, I'm still on the look out for some cool people to hang out with. Please, apply if you arent a scum sucking bitatch, dont work in the "industry" and have something to talk about other than yourself!

XO!!!