Boys and Boys, Girls and Girls

You know, I've always secretly hated 'girlie girls' with their groups of 7 that all buy the same fabric handbags they made at their Aunt Sherrie's purse party, and the girls that undoubtedly will be at our 10yr reunion in 2 years with a 5 year wedding band on and pics of their second infant. I just felt like they were missing something: why not hang out with some boys, too? And not like on Saved By the Bell, where hanging out meant dating all of them in rotation. I mean like, LET YOUR TOM BOY SIDE SHINE. Not every girl was meant to be a nurse, or teacher, or seamstress part-time while she stays at home.

THEN, on the flip side, I have always LOATHED boyfriends of mine that were 'guys guys.' GOD FORBID a girl goes long 1 in 5 times to their man-outings. Women seem to be an accessory to these people, like "I will have that car, and a job, and that lawn mower, and a woman. And make fire. Ugg." I always thought these guys to be slightly douche-y normally, and like "get to know your softer sides assholes. Maybe if you weren't all together, all the time, you wouldn't feel SO compelled to take those last 3 Jagerbombs you KNOW will make work tomorrow unbearable."

With all this said, and with an aside that I'm really not THAT judgemental, I'm sitting here with no girlfriends within an easy 10 miles, and possibly only 1 or 2 within 30 miles! Now this isn't because I don't have any, it's mainly because, like many mid-twenty something groups, a few of our flock had to fly away for bigger, better jobs. But that leaves some lonely in the city. Boo.

So, enter my manfriends. I have a ton. Some, yes, I may have "made out with in the past 10 years but we will NEVER be like THAT, it was just the tequila and 6 Bacardi Coolers" or 1 or 2 may be boyfriends from so long ago that you REALLY can be friends with them. But I am also trying to broaden my friend circle. In that, I'm finding that most men don't see me as a friend. Or something. I just don't get it.

Fuck that. You know what I REALLY want? A girl OR guy friend, who can do things that ARE NOT BAR RELATED. My fucking liver needs a break people! What ever happened to just coming over and "chilling?" Remember those days? My 1 in-town, 5 mile away girl friend Amber and I went to a pool the other day, and just CHATTED AND CHATTED for 3 hours, and it was so nice! We both have red boussie's, but it was SO NICE! I had a girlfriend a few years back, and it just seemed like if we weren't "on the prowl" for a man-penis then it wasn't really fun.

Anyway, I just had to get all this out.

I'll leave this blog with my face book jargen from the last 1 hour: (and I never really use facebook, but this was for RESEARCH!)

**

Denise Mueller Pondering why its so hard to be friends with the opposite sex.

Kenneth M Cuvar at 1:34pm June 25

Well if that's the wa you feel you can just GO TO HELL!! (sarcastic tone)

Charles Reagan at 1:41pm June 25

Your vagina is like a siren's song, it won't allow for the friendship only the sexy time. It's a shame doll.

Denise Mueller at 1:44pm June 25

Well wtf am I supposed to do NOW that you said that? lol. Apparently "some ppl can be friends and never had any benefits." Hell, we've even made out. HA

Charles Reagan at 1:45pm June 25

I was confused! I was a frat boy! Don't hold it against me Holy Gay God! Please!

Denise Mueller at 1:51pm June 25

HAHA! Well, I'm glad we made it. :)

**
Much love,
D

The Curse of the Alpha

"If you are a born leader, clever and pretty, it is just possible that you can be an Alpha female, like someone else you know personally who leads well and aspires to beat the proverbial glass ceiling."

-WikiHow; Wikipedia "How To"

So... I've been called an Alpha my whole life. Not that I'm clever, pretty, or a born leader... But it has been stated.

Great! I guess I should have a chip on my shoulder, I should get ahead at work, and I should have an easy time with friendships with women and relationships with a significant other.

HA! HA FUCKING HA!

I swear my "personality-type" is CURSED.

From Men:

We are quite feared. I honestly believe that. Yes, we are hard-headed. Yes we are always right. (So we think) BUT look at the past history: Have we been right? Are we logical in our thinking? Have we had well-rounded lives thus far that allow for a little extra opinion? Most men cannot handle an alpha female: if they could they would just go for another man. I kid I kid. But really, that's why cliches are in fact cliches: men want a more demure, softer, quieter, women, therefore someone that doesn't challenge them.

From women:

The look.... OHHHH the look! "Who that does that bitch think SHE is??"

...."Your future boss, Bitch."

No but really, Alpha v. Non-Alpha is like anything else in the life of a woman: We always want what we DON'T or CAN'T have. Curly hair v. Straight hair. A smart guy v. a funny guy. A speedy convertible or a ballin SUV for ladies night....

Or in this case: Are the introverted girls HATING Alphas because they wish they could speak up in public?? Is that all? Alpha women do NOT, I repeat do NOT "TRY," it is in fact something we normally cannot help: we just dooooooooo.

(...Hey non-Alphas, come here a minute... closer: Sometimes Alphas wish we could be quiet too, and not say what's on our minds, and have boxes carried for us just because we're in heels, etc... but we immediately metaphorically smack ourselves and wake up, because if that were the case, we couldn't sleep at night knowing we had held something in.)

...I digress. Please, you must understand, Non-Alphas: The stronger-minded women of the world find it as hard to understand YOU as YOU find it hard to understand us, and our actions. I have had girlfriends that REALLLLLLY wanted to do something, to say something, to verbally kick someones ass when they were emotionally abused, and they FROZE. I am in awe: HOW are you not saying anything. SAY SOMETHING. JUST SAY IT!!!!

Yet nothing.

Then I realize this is a psychological prison for some people. Being open-minded and STRONG-minded is a blessing that all extroverted people should appreciate every single day of their lives. Yes we sometimes make an ass out of ourselves, (Whooooa I've been there) but at the end of the day, I am happy I speak my mind. I ultimately have no regrets, and can honestly say I hide nothing: I show my true colors at all times.

Now there are downfalls here: Maybe a potential new mate, or potential new best friend, or potential new employer does NOT in fact, like outspoken females. Well, to each their own. I'm moving on to find someone that DOES appreciate me.... and yes, you will find it.

I'm finding myself currently surrounded by friends and a significant other that truly appreciates me for ME. Do you know how good that feels?? I have known women that we dating someone, and they hadn't been themselves the WHOLE TIME. They were playing a part--simply because they knew what the guy liked. This disgusts me so much: it's unfair to both parties, and ultimately no one will win in this scenario.

I will leave everyone with this: If you ever feel that you live vicariously through someone who exemplifies one personality trait YOU want: Try it. Little by little. See if it works for you. See what kind of response this new attitude gets you. See if you even feel comfortable being that "person." If so, GREAT! You may see new things come to the horizon for you. If not, at least you know your limits.

BUT DON'T COMPLAIN WHEN ALPHAS GET SOMETHING THEY SPOKE UP FOR. THEY ARE TAKING A RISK EVERY TIME THEY OPEN THEIR MOUTHS FOR THE FIFTH TIME IN THAT MORNING MEETING.

IF YOU WANT THAT SAME AUTHOIRTY, MAKE IT HAPPEN BITCHES! Stand up for yourselves for once, for fucks sake... and feel the grand glory of being an alpha female.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :D

D